The Most Expensive Piece of Paper Ever
It's currently 12:20 am. Due to much loss of sleep (play on words, haha) I've recently made the decision not to bother trying. If I can't sleep I'm just going to get up and do something until my eyes burn.
Tonight I could not sleep over school.
I NEED to get my DEGREE!!! NEED!!! Biggest mistake of my life (I admit it, mom) was dropping out. Okay, I take that back (sorry, mom), it really wasn't a mistake. I knew so much less about teaching while I was in school learning to teach. I have learned immensely more in my 2 1/2 years as a TA then in my 4 1/2 years at various universities. This confirms for me that teaching is really more of a trade, and should be treated as such, but whatever. My biggest mistake would be not going back when the opportunity to do so presents itself to me. Like now. I feel a knocking at the door of educational opportunity (there is also a scratching at the window of traveling abroad, but we'll put that on the back burner for now). I have no choice but to postpone my wedding until my father returns from Kuwait (we think Kuwait b/c Aunt Beech has dreamt it, and if I trust anyone's dreams I trust hers). That could be between 1-2 years. Also, I happen to be aware that I could qualify for a Pell Grant if I quit my job and moved in with Chris. It would seem then on paper I would have all these bills, but no income. Okay, I would have all these bills and no income, but not nearly the bills I'd have if I didn't shack up with my fiance. So, I'm thinking maybe in July I will go ahead and move in with Chris. Then quit work and go back to school full time. I can totally hack 6 classes a semester (if they don't have conflicting schedules). I could have my bachelor's within a year and a half! Chris and I would have to seriously scale back on spending, but I think we can handle it. It's my education, after all! Doesn't that mean more? And I've been sooo depressed about this. I go up down on this one. Sometimes I don't think about it much, like I know I'll get around to it. Other times it hits me so hard my lack of degree is all I can think about (exhibit A: I need to wake in 5 1/2 hours). Each time the depression hits, it hits harder. I am going to have a fit if I don't get my degree ASAP. At this point I'd be willing to give up everything, anything, all things just to have my degree. Money? I'll make it when I graduate. Social life? My friends are great, they'll be patient. Marriage? You want to marry me poor or with some financial stability? Am I right? I'm right. Let me know what you think.
Tonight I could not sleep over school.
I NEED to get my DEGREE!!! NEED!!! Biggest mistake of my life (I admit it, mom) was dropping out. Okay, I take that back (sorry, mom), it really wasn't a mistake. I knew so much less about teaching while I was in school learning to teach. I have learned immensely more in my 2 1/2 years as a TA then in my 4 1/2 years at various universities. This confirms for me that teaching is really more of a trade, and should be treated as such, but whatever. My biggest mistake would be not going back when the opportunity to do so presents itself to me. Like now. I feel a knocking at the door of educational opportunity (there is also a scratching at the window of traveling abroad, but we'll put that on the back burner for now). I have no choice but to postpone my wedding until my father returns from Kuwait (we think Kuwait b/c Aunt Beech has dreamt it, and if I trust anyone's dreams I trust hers). That could be between 1-2 years. Also, I happen to be aware that I could qualify for a Pell Grant if I quit my job and moved in with Chris. It would seem then on paper I would have all these bills, but no income. Okay, I would have all these bills and no income, but not nearly the bills I'd have if I didn't shack up with my fiance. So, I'm thinking maybe in July I will go ahead and move in with Chris. Then quit work and go back to school full time. I can totally hack 6 classes a semester (if they don't have conflicting schedules). I could have my bachelor's within a year and a half! Chris and I would have to seriously scale back on spending, but I think we can handle it. It's my education, after all! Doesn't that mean more? And I've been sooo depressed about this. I go up down on this one. Sometimes I don't think about it much, like I know I'll get around to it. Other times it hits me so hard my lack of degree is all I can think about (exhibit A: I need to wake in 5 1/2 hours). Each time the depression hits, it hits harder. I am going to have a fit if I don't get my degree ASAP. At this point I'd be willing to give up everything, anything, all things just to have my degree. Money? I'll make it when I graduate. Social life? My friends are great, they'll be patient. Marriage? You want to marry me poor or with some financial stability? Am I right? I'm right. Let me know what you think.
posted by Sessa @ 12:13 AM
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