Last Journal Entry
Recently I finished the last entry in the first journal I ever kept up for more than a month. Today I bought a new one.
I wanted to share with you my last entry, because I find it is the quintessential me.
And yes, it is attack of the insomnia again (do I even need to mention that?) It is 1:27 am. I have been on this computer for roughly an hour. Tried to sleep, couldn't do it. I tried relaxing, reading, talking, etc. I tried not thinking, but that's just never going to happen, so as usual I was laying in bed starring at Chris, the closet, the ceiling, trying to not to think about the plight of the world, religion, the plight of my religion, etc. Now, I am trying wine. Maui Blanc to be precise. Mmm fermented pineapple. Yummy.
Without further ado, I share with you, my last entry hereto...
"12/20/2004...barely
Of course, I can't sleep.
Chris is, though, or he is trying to, so I am being as quiet as possible...and making as little movement and light as possible.
I cannot sleep for 2 reasons. I'm hoping that by writing in my diary I can temporarily ease the angst of them both just enough to fall asleep for at least a few hours--a powernap, if you will.
First, on a humorous note--Check out my style of writing from my earlier entry and compare it to this expression. Take, for example, the lines 'Christmas at the zoo was beautiful. There were lights everywhere,' versus my more recent paragraph ending with much to much of a run-on sentence (my weakness), 'I'm hoping that by writing in my diary I can temporarily ease the angst...' Is this the same writer? It is certainly not the same speaker. What spark in my brain both empowers my writing and imposes my rest? There is a fear in my heart (and an aching in my eyes) that if I am ever to be an accomplished author I must also be and incurable insomniac. Damn it.
On to my two fears (Chris stirs)--1) On Tuesday I am throwing what will surely be a flop going-away party for Chris and there is so much to do and I am such a ditz. 2) My father is being deployed and may not be allowed to return for my wedding, which will just have to be delayed.
Today's Blessing: Everything which isn't a curse, and that is so, so much more."
Okay, I hope you enjoyed that!
Talk to you again soon!!!!
ps The party was great!
I wanted to share with you my last entry, because I find it is the quintessential me.
And yes, it is attack of the insomnia again (do I even need to mention that?) It is 1:27 am. I have been on this computer for roughly an hour. Tried to sleep, couldn't do it. I tried relaxing, reading, talking, etc. I tried not thinking, but that's just never going to happen, so as usual I was laying in bed starring at Chris, the closet, the ceiling, trying to not to think about the plight of the world, religion, the plight of my religion, etc. Now, I am trying wine. Maui Blanc to be precise. Mmm fermented pineapple. Yummy.
Without further ado, I share with you, my last entry hereto...
"12/20/2004...barely
Of course, I can't sleep.
Chris is, though, or he is trying to, so I am being as quiet as possible...and making as little movement and light as possible.
I cannot sleep for 2 reasons. I'm hoping that by writing in my diary I can temporarily ease the angst of them both just enough to fall asleep for at least a few hours--a powernap, if you will.
First, on a humorous note--Check out my style of writing from my earlier entry and compare it to this expression. Take, for example, the lines 'Christmas at the zoo was beautiful. There were lights everywhere,' versus my more recent paragraph ending with much to much of a run-on sentence (my weakness), 'I'm hoping that by writing in my diary I can temporarily ease the angst...' Is this the same writer? It is certainly not the same speaker. What spark in my brain both empowers my writing and imposes my rest? There is a fear in my heart (and an aching in my eyes) that if I am ever to be an accomplished author I must also be and incurable insomniac. Damn it.
On to my two fears (Chris stirs)--1) On Tuesday I am throwing what will surely be a flop going-away party for Chris and there is so much to do and I am such a ditz. 2) My father is being deployed and may not be allowed to return for my wedding, which will just have to be delayed.
Today's Blessing: Everything which isn't a curse, and that is so, so much more."
Okay, I hope you enjoyed that!
Talk to you again soon!!!!
ps The party was great!
posted by Sessa @ 4:45 AM
1 Comments:
At January 2, 2005 at 2:36 PM,
Smiles said…
Woman, you worry too much. The wedding will be beautiful and wonderful--just a little further away than you thought.
And Jeez, Louise! You throw wonderful parties, and everyone LOVED what you did for Chris. I particularly liked the berries. =)
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