Pessimism Has A Lot of Repeated Letters
Before I continue my narcissistic ramble: Thea-where is my new rhyming book? I can't find it anywhere, and I looked all over one half of the living room. How can I write fun new pitiable songs if I don't have a book that rhymes for me?
On to the blogging---
Tonight is a special evening. I have been brought back to this new age public diary by a profound discovery in our pessimistic modern times.
A very good friend, Wagon, brought to my enlightened attention a miracle. This miracle was found, in all the wondrous places of this hefty universe, on e-bay. The public has finally been allowed to bid on the amazing Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese.
Thank God.
apparently, this miracle has been kept hidden for 10 years. 10 years! What ever happened to sharing God's gifts?
I shouldn't be so upset. I know that. I should just be thankful we know about this visit, and can now bid thousands of dollars on this special bit of sandwich. And I mean bit, because the owner blasphemously bit a piece of the blessed cheese before realizing it's financial, I mean spiritual, potential. The latest bid, as of 9:05 pm this 17th of November, in the year of Our Lord 2004.
(9:08p)Oh no. Oh no, no, no. I have some horrible news, people. It's gone. The wondrous grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary is gone. I think someone actually bought it!!! Please don't cry. I'm sure it's in good hands...good, greasy hands reaching up towards greedy full lips, a slimy tongue, and anxious molars.
Well, I can tell you that yesterday the bid was over $22,000.
What I really want to know, the question that has me baffled, the curiosity that slaughters my cat is: Why are these people not paying for my college education? Why are they not helping to prevent further famine (no saving-the-hungry-grilled-cheese jokes!). Why not put that money towards cancer research.
What exactly does one intend to do with the grilled cheese once one has it in one's possession? one.
Here's another quandary: On the radio this morning I heard that e-bay had removed the item, believing it to be a hoax, but after much research they discovered it was genuine and put it back on bid.
Who had that job? How did he/she approach this type of research? Was the Pope consulted? Was the sandwich thoroughly examined or did the researcher simply review a picture of it. How does a person decide that this truly is the picture of the Virgin Mary and not just some ghost's idea of a joke?
Did the person who make the grilled cheese go hungry that afternoon for fear of cooking another spiritual figure? Or maybe the human culinary gateway spent all day cooking every bit of food in the house hoping for another sign.
Will we think of this the next time we make a grilled cheese sandwich?
It's late and I am losing gusto.
I will close by attempting a haiku about this insightful lunch.
spiritual cheese
with face of Mother Mary
will you inspire?
On to the blogging---
Tonight is a special evening. I have been brought back to this new age public diary by a profound discovery in our pessimistic modern times.
A very good friend, Wagon, brought to my enlightened attention a miracle. This miracle was found, in all the wondrous places of this hefty universe, on e-bay. The public has finally been allowed to bid on the amazing Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese.
Thank God.
apparently, this miracle has been kept hidden for 10 years. 10 years! What ever happened to sharing God's gifts?
I shouldn't be so upset. I know that. I should just be thankful we know about this visit, and can now bid thousands of dollars on this special bit of sandwich. And I mean bit, because the owner blasphemously bit a piece of the blessed cheese before realizing it's financial, I mean spiritual, potential. The latest bid, as of 9:05 pm this 17th of November, in the year of Our Lord 2004.
(9:08p)Oh no. Oh no, no, no. I have some horrible news, people. It's gone. The wondrous grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary is gone. I think someone actually bought it!!! Please don't cry. I'm sure it's in good hands...good, greasy hands reaching up towards greedy full lips, a slimy tongue, and anxious molars.
Well, I can tell you that yesterday the bid was over $22,000.
What I really want to know, the question that has me baffled, the curiosity that slaughters my cat is: Why are these people not paying for my college education? Why are they not helping to prevent further famine (no saving-the-hungry-grilled-cheese jokes!). Why not put that money towards cancer research.
What exactly does one intend to do with the grilled cheese once one has it in one's possession? one.
Here's another quandary: On the radio this morning I heard that e-bay had removed the item, believing it to be a hoax, but after much research they discovered it was genuine and put it back on bid.
Who had that job? How did he/she approach this type of research? Was the Pope consulted? Was the sandwich thoroughly examined or did the researcher simply review a picture of it. How does a person decide that this truly is the picture of the Virgin Mary and not just some ghost's idea of a joke?
Did the person who make the grilled cheese go hungry that afternoon for fear of cooking another spiritual figure? Or maybe the human culinary gateway spent all day cooking every bit of food in the house hoping for another sign.
Will we think of this the next time we make a grilled cheese sandwich?
It's late and I am losing gusto.
I will close by attempting a haiku about this insightful lunch.
spiritual cheese
with face of Mother Mary
will you inspire?
posted by Sessa @ 8:44 PM
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